This is for the people pleasers.
The ones who choose to hide. Who blend in, or “people please” to avoid potential judgment and confrontation.
Here is a message for us:
It is our time to stand behind our knowledge, our beliefs, and our opinions. We are important. We deserve to be seen, to be heard, and to take up space. We deserve to be cherished, and our knowledge is important enough to be shared.
Similarly, let’s choose to remember it is okay if someone challenges what we say, also it is okay if someone gets mad at us. In fact, we are not in charge of other people’s reactions and how they choose to feel. And the more we try to control how people react to us, the farther away we get from our truth. Not only are we father away from our truth, but also, we fail to realize that someones disagreement is THEIR truth, and no one has the “right” answer.
For example, would you tell your best friend to hide themselves? Or would you hold space for the person to express themselves fully? Clearly, it is not fair for us to put someone else’s wellbeing above our own. Along with, continually putting other peoples opinions and beliefs above ours. Remember, we matter!
Everyone Loves A Backstory:
First, as a child I wanted everyone to like me. Due to my parents emotionally checking out, I went searching for support and acceptance. I found that when I agreed with others, I received attention and validation. Undoubtedly, I craved this recognition very deeply and as a result, my opinions and beliefs took the backseat. I was so deeply afraid of judgment and abandonment that it was easier to agree. As a consequence of not having a teacher to show me I can trust myself, my thoughts did not seem significant or important. Along with the knowledge that the desire to belong and fear creates “people pleasers”.
The “What Ifs”
Without a doubt, we often fear the worst. The “what if” we show up in this way and we are judged, criticized, or humiliated. However, this is not the truth. In fact, people respond well to authenticity and people will benefit from the knowledge you share. In other words, what if after all these years of hiding ourselves, we are actually doing a disservice in not sharing our talents and gifts with others? I see this all the time. Such as, when I have a few moments of true expression and I am met with kindness and gratitude. Therefore, exposing the fear that keeps me in the prison of my brain.
Additionally, the times you are met with harsh judgment, with practice, you will be able to recognize the judgment has more to do with the judger, than with you. Thus, how someone feels about us does not define who we are. And there is no need to defend our ego/identity because it does not need protection or explanation.
Repeat after me:
I do not need people to agree with me for my knowledge/opinions/beliefs to be important and reliable.
What I have to offer is valuable, and I do not need constant validation from others for that to be true.
To summarize, with all this knowledge at our fingertips I think we are ready to start seeing our value. In this case, start getting comfortable being uncomfortable.
Much much love to you fellow people pleasers. Our sensitivity is a gift, never forget that.
If you want some more goodness on how to fill up your cup, click here
Shirt, art and photo by Charmed Fox. Check out her website here for her beautiful original artwork shirts.
