How to be happy. What a question in itself; After all, what is happiness? I define happiness as an overarching sense of lightness, contentment, feeling of ease. A place where you feel present with reality and feel great within that presence. Now we usually wait for something external, something outside of ourselves to occur in our lives before we are happy. It goes, “when I get that job, I’ll be happy” or “when he tells me he loves me, I’ll be happy”. We wait for people, experiences, or things to happen in our lives before we finally choose happiness. But what if that isn’t true happiness at all? Deepak Chopra says, ” If you are looking to anything outside of you for your happiness; that isn’t real happiness, because that reason could be taken away in a second.” So the question stands; what are you holding as the reason for your happiness?
Do you believe that you could be happy without something external in your life?
What if I told you that you could feel better and cultivate happiness today? Without the need for something external to appear?
Now I want to remind you however you are feeling is fine and beautiful, but what if I told you, you can feel better?
Some of you might not agree with what I am about to say, and that is more than okay. We all process things differently and see the world through a different lens. That is what makes the world so beautiful, the diversity of opinions. However, for the ones who are intrigued, hear me out.
We Give Our Emotions Power – Choose to be Happy?
Have you ever wondered why your emotions have so much power over you?
Have you ever stopped to question the validity of your thoughts?
If you have, you may have found that what you focus on grows. So if you focus on your sadness, and thoughts that make you sad, you get really good at being sad.
Now I am not saying we should repress our emotions, but I think we should reevaluate the level of power we give them.
Many of us often feel overwhelmed by our emotions; they sweep over us like waves crashing on the sand. Usually what happens when an emotion arises in our body is we start to resist. We start to think thoughts such as, “I don’t want to feel this way” or ” This isn’t okay”. When we resist an emotion, it usually makes it hang around longer. We start to fight it, and as a byproduct, we start thinking of the reasons “why” we must feel that way. We start to take out all past memories and traumas and try to dissect why that emotion is coming up for us. However, you can’t analyze your way out of emotion. It doesn’t work that way. You just end up down a rabbit hole, feeling worse, and/or depleted.
What To Do Instead-To Be Happy
Next time an emotion surfaces, I want you to try a new strategy.
When an emotion comes, welcome it, say hello. Notice wherever you feel it in your body. Don’t ignore it or repress it but don’t automatically grab your thoughts of why you think you feel that way. Trust me, you never get anywhere. It was Albert Einstein that said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it” Meaning you can’t solve your anxiety by thinking anxious thoughts of why you must feel anxious. Haha, it is truly comical when you think about it.
Instead, after you have noticed and said “hello” to the emotion. Put your hand on your body where you feel it. Allow it to be in your space but place your attention on something else. Bring your attention to something in your present experience, like what you are seeing, touching, smelling. It could go something like this, “hi anxiety, I feel you, it is okay that you are here” But then you switch your attention. “There is also a plant right next to me, and an orange wall, and a blue door, and I’m smelling the ocean, and I’m feeling the weight of my body on the chair I am sitting on”. You would keep doing this until you feel the emotion start to lift; you will be so focused on other things besides the emotion. Believe me, the emotion will lift. Remember when I said what you put your attention on, grows? Well when you take your attention off of the anxiety, or whatever emotion, and take it off the thoughts associated with that emotion, the emotion will lift. It will.
Change The Story
It is really important to not grab for those thoughts that spiral you, instead switch your attention. You will stop the addiction you have towards that feeling and towards those thoughts that make you stay in the feeling. The more times you do something (like feeling sad) the better you get at it. However, the opposite is also true; the more times you change the story, the better you will get at feeling joyous and break your addiction to negative thought patterns and emotions.
Happiness Tips
Now if you practice what I have stated above you are on track to a happier life, that is internally sourced. However, there are a few things you can do to make this process easier.
- First, meditation. Meditation is crucial for a clear mind. It will make it easier for you to have control over your emotions and thoughts because you learn to detach from them every morning in your meditation practice. If you are new to meditation, click here, scroll down and sign up for my email list and you will be sent a free morning guide + a meditation to listen to. I also highly recommend Dr. Joe Dispenza’s books and meditations on YouTube, here is one of my favorites.
- Second, discipline. Realize that breaking the habit of negative thoughts and emotions takes time, and will be challenging. Don’t let this deter you, let it motivate you to set scheduled times to meditate. Reframe your thinking from, “oh my gosh a 30-minute meditation, I don’t have time” to “YES! I am so excited to do this work so I can change my life, 30 minutes is nothing when I acknowledge the benefits”. Most importantly, ACCEPT yourself. Be gentle with yourself, you are doing a really good job.
- Third, slow down. Make it a daily practice to slow down. Set a timer on your phone for every two hours to check in and take 10 deep breaths + some affirmations if it feels right. Every time the timer goes off, put your hands on your belly and chest, go somewhere you feel comfortable (this could be the bathroom), and take 10 deep breaths. After the breaths are done, repeat to yourself some affirmations. “I am loved”, “I am worthy”, “I am safe”, and “I am at peace”. Whatever feels best to you and feel them in your body. Really feel the emotions of what it feels like to be loved, enough, etc. It might feel silly at first, but that’s okay. Keep going. It will get easier.
I Believe in You
Alright, you have everything you need to get started, and I believe and already see you making lasting changes in your life.
Are you wanting to FINALLY make REAL changes in your life?
- Are you tired of being controlled by your anxiety? Making it hard to get out of bed, or do certain tasks because you’re scared of feeling anxious?
- Are you tired of attracting mediocre relationships from emotionally unavailable people that you end up heart-broken after?
- Are you tired of feeling lost, stuck, and like you aren’t in control of your happiness?
I have found powerful tools that when used, can transform your life. Through my 8 years of studying holistic health, meditation, energy dynamics, relationships, nutrition, and more I have discovered really easy ways for anyone to transform their lives and take steps towards becoming the HAPPIEST person in their circle.
If this sounds like something you are ready for…. REAL transformation…. which takes work
then click here and find out how to do that.
